So I Might be Writing a Book. It’s part biography, part commentary, part faith, part human. So please be nice and I hope you enjoy.

“You’re Never Ready” will be the title. I’m 99% sure.

Excerpt 1:
Many people think they know you. That if you were asked certain questions, that they could be certain of your answers. This book will surprise many of those people, and I’m sorry. Maybe it will surprise no one. But I should take blame where it is due. My silence may have indicated agreement when I felt very differently. My fear of losing you kept me from saying what I truly believe. And now some would say I’m a coward, revealing my true feelings in a book far removed from apparent reproach. However from where I stand, it is my hope that what I say will not be diluted by memory or emotion and easily referenced.

You’re never ready; for pregnancy or death, for life or loss. I can safely say that life has continually caught me off guard. Almost nothing has turned out the way I imagined. People like Bill Withers make me forget how awful I am and have been, and Jarvis Cocker reminds me of my basest thoughts. I’ve known that I, and the world, need a savior for a long, long time. Someone that actually has the authority to make all the wrongs, right. I never questioned the person and purpose of Jesus, quite frankly it always made sense to me. What I wasn’t able to do, was believe that the extravagant love He promised could be extended to me unconditionally. My self confidence, or lack thereof, didn’t let me believe fully that I was part of His redemption too. When I learned about Jesus I would feel this overwhelming happiness that someone out there was going be who He said He was, and do what He said He was going to do. But that happiness was always lined with a deep sadness; while I was able to believe his provision and love for others, I could not imagine it for myself.

Excerpt 2:
I’m Not a Player,
I Just Dream Crush A Lot

Some propagate the idea that in order to be authentic you must like the same things for a long time. Well, adversely I find those people very dull and self-absorbed. I spent a lot of my teen years feeling stupid for liking Paula Abdul or Neneh Cherry in 5th grade. Because heaven forbid my musical tastes should stray and someone should find out that just a few years before I was obsessed with something mainstream. But eventually I realized that there is always going to be someone older and cooler than you to remind you that you didn’t discover something, and that they were there first, so to speak. There are three things that are really jerky about that: those types of people are perpetual dream crushers, they’re always talking about themselves, and no one their own age likes to be around them.

Excerpt 3:
Stop Thinking You’re God

A hard learned lesson, that would have served me well to learn earlier, is that I’m not totally in control. But neither are my oppressors, antagonists, allies or friends. Not one person I know can add or take away a single day of my life from good or evil motive. God numbers my days, and accidents are only accidents from a certain perspective.

Excerpt 4:
Give People Some Credit

One of the most annoying things an adult can do to another adult is speak to them as though you know everything and they know nothing. And it’s usually the people without a clue that think they’re educating the world. Some people are storytellers, and some storytellers are boring. Save people a lot of unnecessary annoyance and ask a question rather than pretending you discovered North America, cause chances are you’re just as delusional as good ‘ol C.C.

If I receive feedback, I will take it to heart. I have only read these excerpts over the phone to one person. It is with a sigh of relief and exhale of horror that I publish these words on a blog. But faith without works is dead, and I’ve been talking about doing certain things for far too long. Is this where I write: All rights reserved.? Booyah Grandma.